I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
