How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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