he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
