Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
this will be a night to untag.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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