What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
