Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Enjoy the penises
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
