I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
