ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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