Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
