Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
