The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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