My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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