the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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