i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
