I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
