do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
