I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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