he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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