Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
