i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
