I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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