I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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