i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
