Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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