in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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