Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
