I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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