This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
