Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I need moral support for this bender
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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