I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
