We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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