I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she told me i tasted like america
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
