Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Hippo gnu deer
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
