i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
