I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
