You smell like a Billy Joel song
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
