i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
