okay pat passed out under dana's car
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
