I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
