But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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