Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
