Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
