I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
