do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize