just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
