Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
