dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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