halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
