It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
