so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
